Don't make out with my wife yet
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
