Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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