I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
