so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
