It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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