i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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