I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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