I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
