susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i now understand why vodka
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
