i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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