pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize