i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
