Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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