We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
