Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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