this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
