great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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