from now on my penis is your penis
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize