Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
