I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
