guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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