Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that