I hate your face
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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