mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities