I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.