yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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