Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
