I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
