it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
