doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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