You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
