Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
