Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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