Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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