Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
