youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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