im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
