If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
