im six kinds of drunk right now
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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