there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
