His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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