tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize