my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
