I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
