We're facebook friends in real life
thus making me awesome and them whores
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
