she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
