At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
