I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize