I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize