I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
