side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
