Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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