It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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