I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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