So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
