She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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