Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight

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  (925): remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight http://tfl.nu/zwys
  Replies (18) Good night (830) Bad night (3731)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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  (506): Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell http://tfl.nu/5oyd
  Replies (19) Good night (3987) Bad night (1201)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.

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  (314): the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick. http://tfl.nu/zpzn
  Replies (18) Good night (1208) Bad night (6297)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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  (715): I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry http://tfl.nu/qzk6
  Replies (23) Good night (1626) Bad night (4097)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (3046) Bad night (886)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

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  (+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a
  Replies (5) Good night (2638) Bad night (1247)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"

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  (613): Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night" http://tfl.nu/ts7x
  Replies (14) Good night (2542) Bad night (1061)
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  (631): View more from New York

  figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

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  (631): figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard. http://tfl.nu/oj4g
  Replies (5) Good night (2141) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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  (618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov
  Replies (45) Good night (3595) Bad night (1279)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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  (402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz
  Replies (14) Good night (453) Bad night (2157)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (767) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!

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  (678): He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!! http://tfl.nu/91da
  Replies (8) Good night (1789) Bad night (351)
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  (760): View more from California

  Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.

  (432): View more from Texas

  You're so wise.

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  (760): Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants. (432): You're so wise. http://tfl.nu/48zw
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (409)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?

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  (303): Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix? http://tfl.nu/afh5
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.

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  (920): I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope. http://tfl.nu/g0eb
  Replies (3) Good night (238) Bad night (447)

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