I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
