Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.