The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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