Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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  (978): Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war. http://tfl.nu/fra3
  Replies (11) Good night (975) Bad night (3482)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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  (304): what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/0ytw
  Replies (9) Good night (1276) Bad night (4671)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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  (918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps
  Replies (16) Good night (905) Bad night (4141)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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  (502): new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home http://tfl.nu/1gm8
  Replies (25) Good night (7042) Bad night (930)
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  (707): View more from California

  My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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  (707): My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet." http://tfl.nu/s1m4
  Replies (52) Good night (16191) Bad night (1788)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1271) Bad night (4315)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy

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  (917): I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy http://tfl.nu/okyl
  Replies (1) Good night (2490) Bad night (1117)
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  (315): View more from New York

  my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless

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  (315): my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless http://tfl.nu/2wfy
  Replies (8) Good night (3239) Bad night (1189)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.

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  (303): No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck. http://tfl.nu/2tgn
  Replies (7) Good night (1976) Bad night (801)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter

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  (432): Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter http://tfl.nu/o41k
  Replies (10) Good night (2117) Bad night (551)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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  (520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22
  Replies (11) Good night (511) Bad night (2400)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.

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  (713): Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes. http://tfl.nu/esis
  Replies (1) Good night (948) Bad night (460)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.

  (801): View more from Utah

  International sake day = success

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  (801): Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward. (801): International sake day = success http://tfl.nu/corh
  Replies (9) Good night (981) Bad night (343)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.

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  (614): She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win. http://tfl.nu/wvwz
  Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (249)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!

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  (918): Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night! http://tfl.nu/ci8u
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (241)

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