You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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