Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.

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  (206): This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it. http://tfl.nu/dmrx
  Replies (13) Good night (2013) Bad night (651)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Since when is my name a synonym for head?

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  (908): Since when is my name a synonym for head? http://tfl.nu/s1ks
  Replies (40) Good night (3672) Bad night (1482)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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  (440): woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl. http://tfl.nu/ta0b
  Replies (82) Good night (1194) Bad night (4891)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working

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  (216): Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working http://tfl.nu/ls32
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (3618)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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  (402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (2988) Bad night (1152)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

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  (617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul
  Replies (3) Good night (1999) Bad night (888)
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  (818): View more from California

  The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

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  (818): The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it http://tfl.nu/3wsm
  Replies (5) Good night (1335) Bad night (2812)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.

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  (425): He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that. http://tfl.nu/0n60
  Replies (9) Good night (3027) Bad night (991)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  you had me at cake vodka

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  (973): you had me at cake vodka http://tfl.nu/ixlp
  Replies (14) Good night (2080) Bad night (658)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

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  (970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg
  Replies (13) Good night (2768) Bad night (765)
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  (714): View more from California

  You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.

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  (714): You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie. http://tfl.nu/je5q
  Replies (10) Good night (559) Bad night (1403)
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  (716): View more from New York

  YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

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  (716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (1764)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (392) Bad night (824)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."

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  (270): I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester." http://tfl.nu/tgsd
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.

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  (757): You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast. http://tfl.nu/zvdo
  Replies (2) Good night (871) Bad night (245)

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