Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.