Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.

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  (502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me. http://tfl.nu/n2du
  Replies (20) Good night (4130) Bad night (1342)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together

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  (812): the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together http://tfl.nu/nmyc
  Replies (21) Good night (4001) Bad night (683)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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  (540): Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them? http://tfl.nu/3pc1
  Replies (16) Good night (1267) Bad night (4532)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

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  (727): Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo. http://tfl.nu/8g98
  Replies (14) Good night (1391) Bad night (4071)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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  (317): I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers http://tfl.nu/7izq
  Replies (31) Good night (5384) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (354) Good night (7957) Bad night (48688)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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  (802): my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night... http://tfl.nu/tx5p
  Replies (14) Good night (5677) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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  (636): No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from. http://tfl.nu/d5gf
  Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (2929)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.

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  (706): So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/v79f
  Replies (26) Good night (1268) Bad night (6982)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.

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  (443): We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending. http://tfl.nu/khho
  Replies (6) Good night (4477) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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  (215): A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts. http://tfl.nu/gdkg
  Replies (20) Good night (4175) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.

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  (724): I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do. http://tfl.nu/rr6r
  Replies (20) Good night (1133) Bad night (2043)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1230) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.

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  (423): I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick. http://tfl.nu/4wtf
  Replies (7) Good night (545) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle

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  (301): Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle http://tfl.nu/p4yo
  Replies (1) Good night (278) Bad night (182)

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