those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement