So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like