First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
