Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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