Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
