My cat gives me a boner
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's the barista slut.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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