ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
