jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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