Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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