She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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