he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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