Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
