Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
