she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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